"That's not my experience"

 stitchery by me, NG

 "That's not my experience."  

I've been thinking about how many times I must have said these words before I learned my lesson.

I'm sitting across from a gatekeeping theatre girl who I don't want to be at lunch with. She is anxious to tell me the gossip about the regional theatre I have been working at. She asks, "Do you want to know what went down there before you moved to town?" I say, "No. They've been very good to me there and that's not information I need. THAT'S NOT MY EXPERIENCE." I was glad I shut down her gossip. I was glad I was working on good material and getting paid. 6 years later I walked out of that same theatre after doing as many shows there and I swore I would never go back. Her gossip was information. If I had taken it, listened and weighed it, made room for those others' experiences, maybe I wouldn't have felt so heartbroken and betrayed.

I think about how many times I must've said this to people about work colleagues, who, looking back, we're definitely gross and problematic personalities. 

The real painful thing is, you know, I said it proudly and it stoked my ego. I wanted to remain popular and easy to work with. I thought I was un-fuck with-able.  What I was really doing was invalidating others and upholding shitty systems. This is a whole big subject that really gets deep, so you know I asked my new boo ChatGPT for some help.  I said: 

And my Lady Chat spat this little extremely on point ditty in about 40 seconds. It's all there.  I have not edited this, although I would if I wanted to use it differently. I also want to note that ChatGPT writes with a sort of sweet corporate way that is a lil precious for my tastes, but still big time on point. 

Title: The Paradox of "That's Not My Experience": Unraveling its Impact on Institutions and the Labor Market

 Introduction

 In recent years, the phrase "that's not my experience" has emerged as a poignant and complex expression, emblematic of the evolving discourse surrounding personal experiences and institutional structures. This essay explores the paradoxical nature of this phrase, arguing that its misapplication and misuse have contributed to the perpetuation of abusive practices within institutions and the labor market. 

The Paradox of "That's Not My Experience" 

The phrase "that's not my experience" encapsulates a paradoxical conundrum that confronts society today. On the surface, it appears as a defense of individuality and diversity of experiences, but when wielded carelessly, it can become a smokescreen for overlooking systemic issues and perpetuating harmful practices.

 Individualism versus Systemic Change

 At its core, "that's not my experience" reflects the celebration of individual experiences and perspectives. It acknowledges the rich tapestry of human existence, where no two journeys are identical. In this context, the phrase serves as a reminder that each person's life is a unique narrative, deserving of recognition and respect. However, this phrase becomes problematic when it is used as a shield against acknowledging systemic inequalities and abuses. When individuals within institutions or the labor market respond to concerns with "that's not my experience," they often dismiss valid claims of discrimination, harassment, or unfair treatment. This dismissal reinforces existing power dynamics and perpetuates abusive practices by invalidating the experiences of those who are marginalized or victimized. 

Institutions and the Labor Market

Institutional settings, such as corporations, government bodies, and educational institutions, play a pivotal role in shaping our society. When the "that's not my experience" mindset infiltrates these institutions, it creates an environment where abusive practices can flourish. It hampers efforts to address and rectify issues like workplace harassment, discrimination, or wage disparities. By disregarding the experiences of the marginalized, institutions maintain the status quo, often to the detriment of vulnerable individuals. Furthermore, the labor market, a crucial pillar of societal structure, is not immune to the repercussions of this paradox. Employees who use this phrase to negate the experiences of their colleagues inadvertently contribute to an atmosphere where toxic workplace cultures persist. This, in turn, leads to high turnover rates, decreased job satisfaction, and hindered productivity.

 Conclusion 

The paradox of "that's not my experience" reveals a fundamental tension between celebrating individuality and recognizing systemic issues. While it is essential to honor the diversity of human experiences, it is equally important to confront and address the abusive practices that persist within institutions and the labor market. A nuanced approach that acknowledges both individual narratives and systemic problems is necessary for fostering an inclusive and equitable society. To achieve meaningful change, we must move beyond this paradox and work collectively to dismantle abusive structures, ensuring that everyone's experience is valued and respected. 

I mean.  That is an essay! Thanks again, ChatGPT, for helping me sort out my difficult feelings and why they're important!