Blortie Biltmeier’s Botanical Basement - Daily 15 #2

#2

Blortie Biltmeier’s  Botanical Basement

It was her first day of work and she was getting a tour through the place.

“These flowers are known to be carnivorous, so if you’re moving the M.E. Marigolds, keep your hands only on the outside of the pot.  If you touch the dirt, you could lose a finger.  We can replace only one accidentally lost finger.  If you want to see what happens after the first one, you can go talk to Mike in shipping. Ask him to show you his hand” 

“What does M.E. stand for?”, she asked

“Man Eating”

“Haha. Okay.” 

This job was right up her alley, and Mr. Blortie reminded her of her grandfather, Wrestler Jimmy. He was a gruff man with a heart of gold who was in a weird business. Wrestler Jimmy had been in the black market robot business and had taught her a lot. Black market plants were no different, she suspected. 

“Okay, I’m about to take you into the succulent room, you’re gonna need these bracelets at all times, they make a lot of noise, that’s the only way to keep the succulents away from your skin, they latch on like a leech and will leave a nasty mark, but they hate the jingle jangles. That’s why we keep bells on the door and watering cans. You wanna see succulent damage? Go talk to Mike in shipping, ask to see his ankles.” 

“Why would someone want plants like these?”, she asked

“The succulents are usually used for pest control, rats, squirrels…I saw one take a raccoon once.  Problem is then some old lady’s cat disappears and you know…”

“Yeah”

“People like the Marigolds for a party trick mostly. Pretty mean, if you ask me.” 

“Oh yeah, that would not be cool”

“No.” He replied. “Come on.” He said, “We’ll go through the Vicious Vinkas down to shipping - you can meet Mike.” 

“Sounds good. “ She liked this place.

“Watch the back of your knees, these Vincas will whip the shit out of the back of your knees, that’s why long pants are required for this job.” 

“That’s fine with me, I’ve got a robot leg. Nobody wants to see that!”, she joked. 

“No kidding! You’ll have to compare stories with Mike in shipping, he’s got a robot shoulder.” 

“Neat”, she said. In her head she thought, “Everybody has a fuckin’ robot story”